When does postpartum end?

This question has been playing on my mind a lot lately. Does it end when we have our 6 week check? When baby has been out longer than they were in? Or does it never end?

Of course, I don’t have a scientific answer to this – is there even a scientific answer? But I think it’s an important question that acts as part of a wider discussion around motherhood.

A lot of people (including healthcare professionals) talk about feeling ‘normal’ again after having a baby. What an annoyingly awkward phrase. Just think, right now, about how you would define ‘normal’. You can’t can you?

I remember sitting with my health visitor (who is a LOVELY lady – those people do an incredible job) and her saying ‘You’ll probably begin to feel normal around 9 months after having the baby’. I just sat there and thought…but I feel normal now? Right now is MY normal. For me, this kind of ‘talk’ just highlights the bounce back culture we live in. Comparing how we feel ‘now’ to how we felt ‘then’ and how we will feel ‘soon’.

As a society we need to focus more on being present, on embracing the ‘now’ and taking that as our current ‘normal’. If we are constantly comparing how we feel or look to how we used to feel/look, we are stealing the joy of the current moment without even realising it.

Postpartum essentially means ‘after baby’. So in my opinion postpartum doesn’t end, but evolves. I will always be living ‘after’ I gave birth to Arlo (unless someone invents a time machine…which would be quite exciting). I am constantly changing, healing, growing but I am always postpartum.

Along with how we ‘feel’ as mothers, comes an important discussion around how we ‘look’ as mothers. With the phrase ‘your tummy will shrink back to its normal size’ or ‘your stretch marks will fade and begin to look like normal skin soon’ being thrown around all too regularly, women are experiencing a tidal wave of emotion around what ‘normal’ really means.

Let me set this straight. You were normal two months ago, you are normal right now and you will be normal in two months time. Your postpartum tummy was normal 2 minuets after birth, it is normal right now and it will be normal in two months time. Growing your confidence is about defining your own ‘normal’ and living by it.

Postpartum isn’t a mere fleeting 6 week time period, it is a completely new chapter that is now your own individual ‘normal’.

Georgia X

Self care + parenting

As an individual, I have always been introverted. This means I need time alone to recharge and thrive in all other areas of life. In short, I very much enjoy my own company. (Don’t get me wrong, I love meeting with my friends and going on family holidays etc – I just have to have time to myself to balance it out)

Having time to myself in the Lake District when me and my Dad walked the 192 mile Coast to Coast path

This was something I was worried I would have to sacrifice when becoming a mother, as I had been told that babies need your attention 24/7 and so getting to take a 5 minuet shower would be a luxury. I have definitely had to change how and when I get time to myself, but I have been lucky enough not to have the kind of experience I just mentioned.

Me and Orla in Greece

Before giving birth, I made a promise to myself that I wasn’t going to let the things that make me me disappear and become just ‘Arlo’s mum’ – which I know is something lots of stay at home mothers struggle with in terms of their identity. I am a partner to Kieran, a powerlifter, a self-proclaimed science nerd, a long distance walking lover, a woman with big ambitions for her future (the list could go on, but you get the idea) AND a mother. So I still find time to train 3-4 times a week, study, go for walks along the beach etc – and to me that is invaluable.

The hour or so that I get in the gym to blast music through my headphones, get really sweaty and move some weight around allows me to have time to switch off from all the responsibilities of being a mother and just be ‘Georgia’. I truly believe that life is about making time for the things that are important to you, everyone told me I wouldn’t have time to train anymore while I was pregnant, but I knew it was something I was not going to give up. Not only does it make me happy, it gives me the headspace to be a better mother.

Mine and Kieran’s trip to Amsterdam

Another thing that me and Kieran had discussed was that we didn’t want our relationship to get lost in the mist of parenting. Just as much as we have become a family of three, we are still a couple separate from that. We have always loved going for long walks where we can talk and focus on nothing but each other, something that became even more of a habit while I was pregnant. This is something we still make time for now, just one of us is pushing a pram. Parenting is about adapting – you can still do all the things you did before, you just might have to change how you go about it.

Me and Kieran take an extremely relaxed approach to parenting – no routines, no expectations and an acceptance that things can change at any second (be it Arlo suddenly stops sleeping, or we have a sick explosion just before we leave the house). This allows us to not only have far less stress, but to find time to be individuals and live lives that are separate from each other as well as together. I would like to note here, I am extremely lucky to be part of a relationship where we will each take Arlo to let the other go and have a long bath or get an extra gym session when we need it. In my opinion, continuing to feel like individuals as well as a couple is paramount to having a happy family.

Self care looks different for everyone, and for me it is most definitely not painting my nails and doing a face mask (more like breaking my nails lifting barbells and having an O’natural face mask of sweat). But if that’s your thing then keep doing you.

Georgia X

Arlo’s 8 week update

Arlo’s 8 week update

Boy where do I start…so much has happened in the last 8 weeks. Never before has time seemingly gone so slow and so fast at the same time. Arlo has slotted into our life so seamlessly that even I find it hard to believe, we’re still training, keeping up our coffee addiction by going to all the coffee shops, going out on long walks along the beach and finding time to have time to ourselves (I do like a long bubble bath with a book every so often)

Staying in Brighton

At around 4 weeks old, we took Arlo on a trip to Brighton to stay with my Dad for the week. (Brave of us i know). The amount of stuff we had to take with us was ridiculous…filled an entire car mostly with baby related items. We took our first trip on the bus with a pram – which is more of a faf then you would think. But we had a very successful trip around the city, took walks along the beach and visited a town called lewes.

We’re growing as a family more and more everyday as Arlo shows us more of his cheeky personality. He has grown so much since he first arrived, he’s a lot more squishy and chunky now. We’re having to upgrade his wardrobe to bigger clothes so often! He can pretty much hold his head up and is getting stronger by the day! (his little legs are a force to be reckoned with)

When he first arrived all he wanted was to be cuddled against someones chest, but now that he is so much more alert he always wants to sit facing the world. He will quite happily sit up next to you while you do something else and just take in the world (very handy when I have little jobs to do on my laptop etc!)

He sleeps like a complete dream (me and Kieran are both on standby for that to change at any moment). We only get up for a feed once in the night now, and Arlo will sleep in until 7-8am in the mornings (providing he’s not woken up by Kieran getting up for uni at 5am). We have had quite a few amusing moments of one of us getting up in a sleepy haze to feed him and doing something strange – such as Kieran trying to give me a pillow instead of a baby!

Arlo and our dog Archie (who is a very big fluffy labradoodle) are best friends. Archie will always sit like a guard dog next to Arlo, and constantly wants to check on him. He has even tried to give Arlo his toy to play with him a couple of times. I can imagine they will be the cutest pair when Arlo is a little older.

Arlo began smiling at around 5 weeks, and now we get giggles and smirks all day! Most the time it’s involuntary, but occasionally it will be in response to one of us which absolutely melts my heart.

The three of us are the happiest little family and I can not wait for all the things the future will bring.

Georgia X